Sunday, January 24, 2010

Facebook + Sex

One of the interesting things about Facebook is the ability to get close to figures who have achieved something and maybe get to exchange ideas with them. Usually, these are figures who haven't gotten so famous that their presence have become corporate in nature.

Before dropping out of Facebook, I made contact with about a dozen writers,artists and public figures that I admired and found the experience intoxicating.

Recently though, I was dismayed about what one male poet/academic wrote on the public digital wall of a female poet/academic I admired.

Around 1: 30am, he wrote: "The petit general awaits..."

A 1/2 hour later he wrote: "Evaporatus."

What's wrong with all this?

Let me make a list.

1. It's artless. It's trying to be subtle but it is not. "I'm here, give me a blow-job..."
2. It's public. He has 3000 friends, she, 1000. He could have written to her privately instead.
3. It's on Facebook. Why?
4. It puts her in a bad position. If she says something, she's dragged in to his thing. If she's silent, it's also viewed as assent. Her silence is doubly bad as she is a feminist and adds questions as to how one's feminism or post-feminism should handle this.
5. It also suggests he is staking a claim on her and wants to cash in now.

What could he have done instead?

He could have been subtle and shown some artfulness.

Last year, the female writer was complaining about Valentine's Day. I publically wrote to her: "You can be my spiritual valentine any day of the year." And she wrote back: "It's a deal!!!"

Recently, she publically wrote to me: "Was that you I saw riding a bike today?" and I said "No, it must have been my double. Had I seen you, I would have stopped -- you have that effect on people..."

I always liked the female writer. She's talented, stong, tough, articulate, and courageous in the topics she writes about. She's sort of a proxy from my youth that I can't completely explain, but that whenever I come across her in some form, it triggers stuff in me. Whatever...I would never express stuff about my 'petit general' if I wanted to get things on with her.

One last note that is worth considering: W.B. Yeats assessment to a friend on his consumation of his relationship with Maud Gonne--"the tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul."

How we square that, is the question.


markg said...

One of your best posts yet. I guess writing on a Facebook wall can be the equivalent of a construction worker whistling and shouting "Yo mama".

Your post is about "game". It looks like you have more game than the guy with the 3000 followers. Don't let your wife see this post.

Mark W. said...

Reminds me of a scene from "Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid."

One of Billy's gang says, "I'm not afraid of Pat Garrett" and the gang look back at him in shock. And he replies "maybe a little. Bastards."

If the wife sees it, the wife sees it. Yeah, maybe I'm afraid a little...

Mark W. said...

Another possibility is that there is nothing wrong with what was said.

Both parties may have sufficient familiarity with each other and may also share bawdy humour in their interactions.

If true, than the communication might be considered funny by the woman and by their friends who understood this sensibility.

Though possible, I would speculate that it would still be remotely so.