Saturday, January 9, 2010

Desultory December

I don't know why, but last month was desultory in nature.

I remember a critic once referred to Lynn Crosbie's poetry book "Liar" as desultory, and I found that very disheartening, as the book showed remarkable strength and vibrancy while confronting the betrayal of one's partner. I like to think of Lynn Crosbie as the 'Annie Oakley' of Canadian letters...

Anyway, "desultory" may be defined as:

–adjective 1. lacking in consistency, constancy, or visible order, disconnected; fitful: desultory conversation.
2. digressing from or unconnected with the main subject; random: a desultory remark.

1575–85; < L dēsultōrius pertaining to a dēsultor (a circus rider who jumps from one horse to another), equiv. to dēsul-, var. s. of dēsilīre to jump down (dē- de- + -silīre, comb. form of salīre to leap) + -tōrius -tory 1

My feelings for this occurred on two levels: one physical, the other emotional. Physically, we were required to move out of our house by Nov 30th as it had been sold, but we hadn't found a new one.

We had a cat, a kid, lots of stuff etc. The stuff was put into storage and we found the only hotel in Toronto that had short term rentals (under 30 days), cooking facilities and allowed pets. It was a depression era hotel that had little heat, few amenities and had seen better days.

We eventually moved into a new house which is quite mavelous, though we did have to replace the furnace when we moved in, and add insulation to the attic, and other minor issues. But, it is still odd moving in to a strange place in winter...

Emotionally, I have felt disconnected at work, which has been coming to a head over the last couple years. Employee engagement surveys confirm that rank and file staff are highly dissatisfied with management in a number of areas. I particularly like the concept "quality of supervision" as a stand out one...To put it plainly, too many peckerheads have been hired, who have no respect for those who are more knowledgeable or experienced, and insist upon imposing arbitrary procedures that cause more problems then they solve. Oh, and staff were all moved to uniform, soul crushing cubicles too...This will eventually result in a Mexican stand-off, as the Ministry of Gov't Services desires improved employee engagement as a performance measure, and the agency I work likes the status quo. How will this play out?

Walking around and taking photos sometimes helps me process emotions somewhat. Here are some recent pics that may be desultory, but also possibly hopeful too...


markg said...

You sound like you're resonating with the earth energy right now. You should read Karen Bishop.

The soundtrack on your blog is about a 9.5 on the annoyance scale.

Mark Winston said...

Writing is always an imperfect art. I think disconsolate is more the case than "annoyance." However, you are entitled to your view.

Don't know anything about "earth energy" or Karen Bishop, but thanks for the tip (I guess).