Personal Moments (Odds & Sods)

I've had a lot disparate experiences over the last couple months that have been bouncing around that I thought I would now share.

1. Handling Pirate Attitude

There is a definite challenge in looking after a preschooler with a prankster sense of humour. He can just easily say "dad, I love you" and then steal your cell phone just to see if he can do it. This attitude gets enhanced after tv shows like "Backyardigans" tell him that if he really wants to be a pirate, he has to develop "pirate attitude." It's never defined, but he knows what they're talking about. Or, a show like "Max and Ruby" where younger brother Max always disobeys older sister Ruby because he has his own ideas of self-actualization (or self-determination if you will). My preschooler watches these interactions with diligent rapt attention. My strategy for overcoming these influences is by keeping the kid off-balance. Example: Today, my kid, who I'll call Child of the Corn, acted very well at Sky Dragon Dim Sum and his mother told him hours later that he was "amazing." I asked him why mom thought he was "amazing," he didn't know any tricks did he? He said no. 10 minutes later he came back and said, dad, watch this. Then he did a somersault. So, I reluctantly agreed that that could consitute "amazing." The point is I didn't let the kid get away with gratuitous praise while he's acting out his pirate attitute lifestyle.

2. Movies

A friend recently asked me if I saw the movie Slum Dog Millionaire. I told him that the only first run film I saw this year was "Wall-E" which was appreciated by my 3 1/2 year old, as it was his first time in a theatre and he felt unselfconscious about standing on his seat and yelling at the screen. Few movies offer this opportunity.

3. Books
I usually don't read as much fiction as non-fiction. But, I want to thank Charlie Huisken of This Ain't the Rosedale Library for inviting me to his biweekly bookclub which has had a lot of interesting books. These have included:

History of Love by Nicole Krauss

The Uncommon Reader, by Alan Bennett

A Trip Around Lake Erie by David McFadden

I won't give descriptons of these, only that I recommend them. And to support independent bookstores like This Ain't the Rosedale Library, 86 Nassau St. Toronto.

4. Facebook

I've been on Facebook now for about six months. I don't know exactly how to value it, though I enjoy it.

Pros:

Possibility of meeting very interesting, smart, accomplished people who might agree to share their ideas and friendship with you;
Find journalists, writers, artists, academics and politicians who agree to talk to you about their areas of interest;
Finding people you lost touch with.

Cons:

Hard to find groups that interact as well as individuals;
Hard to separate superficial interaction from non-superficial;
Having to figure out why complete strangers asked you to be their Facebook friend;

Santa Sentiments

Last week someone called me up and asked me whether I was for Christmas. I said if it had Santa in it, then yes, if not, then no.

My 3 1/2 year old wants to know why he has to go through Santa to get toys when he can just pick out what he wants on store shelves. Me: "Look, Santa's elves make the toys and give them to those who make it on Santa's nice' list. The toy manufacturers came later and are just trying to muscle in on the territory, don't worry about them." Or, "I didn't invent the system, just work with it."

I also love this time of year because I can influence my kid's behaviour by telling him if he's not careful, he'll get on Santa's 'naughty' list...He asked what happens then? I told him he'll get 'girl toys' (not that there's anything wrong with that, he just happens not to like these....)

He picked up on this idea when we visited our local mall Santa. Santa heard what the kid wanted and then asked "what should we get daddy for Christmas, good health?" The kid answered "No, get him girl toys!" Then Santa said, "he got you dad..."

The Demise of Frank

I appear to be the only disconsolate one.

Canada's flagship satire magazine, Frank, has foundered, for the second time. (See: http://www.thestar.com/article/526011)

Yes, it hurts that they stiffed me for two subscription fees, but that's ok.

What's not ok is now Canada will be a little less funny.

Michael Bate, Frank's publisher and chief writer, sounded tired and dejected about it all. He talked about the magazine's no longer being part of the zeitgiest as a result of the internet.

Satire doesn't stop because of the internet ?!

Frank provided the most cutting,searing, stylized satire in this country. The fact that many don't know this, is more a function of poor marketing or poor business acumen. This is not uncommon in the writing community. This does not mean the magazine deserves this fate.

A Modest Proposal:

Now is the time for other satirists to come forward and help one of their own.
Come on Sean Cullen!
Come on 22 Minutes!
Come on Rick Mercer!
Come on Air Farce!

Now is the time to hold a telethon for Frank. Maybe this is ridiculous, but good satire is hard to come by and doesn't get enough respect for how difficult it is to achieve. Frank deserves some support. (I've e-mailed all of the above, including Russell Smith, but haven't heard back yet. Except for Russell Smith, who said he is not a fan...but then I forgot that Frank sent him up in a recent issue too...Damn him, can't he take a joke?!).

Frank, I miss you already.

Laughing at REMember

One of the funniest memories I have occurred in the late 90's when I happened across a MuchMusic video parody of REM by the comedic troupe Corky and the Juice Pigs (with Sean Cullen as singer).

You Tube has a different improv version that appeared on MadTv which is also funny and can be seen at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEKVJZa_gdE, but the MuchMusic one made me fall off the couch, roll around til I cried...

I've contacted MuchMusic and Sean Cullen (at http://www.seancullen.com/) and asked if either can get me that video.

For the record, the lyrics to it are below:

Hey!

Hey you know here I am

Im here now

Here I am, I'm standing

I'm right here
Here I am, on my legs

I'm standing, standing here

Under me there is a place

And I'm standing on it

Here I am

And I'll be here forever

Unless I move over here

Remember how we dreamed

Remember how we screamed

The vegetables were steamed

The people that we seemed to know there

There I was just a minute ago

But I'm not there now, no

I'm here, here again

But a different here

An eternal here, and eternal now

And Im walking, I'm moving I see you

My eyes are looking I know you're there

Because at the end of my look you're here

I have eyes in my head

And I love you

I look at you, you sometimes see me

If youre looking at me

And if you're not looking, then you dont

But I love you, I love you

Remember how we dreamed

Remember how we screamed

The vegetables were steamed

The people that we seemed to know there

I love you

I'm all alone

I'm here in my house alone

And I think of you

Lying in my bed

I look over out of the window

I see your face

And Im frightened cause I live on the eighth floor

You must be really, really tall

You scare me

Remember how we dreamed

Remember how we screamed

The vegetables were steamed

The people that we seemed to know there

Don't forget

I'll be here

You know where I am

Eyes in my head

Teeth in my mouth

Legs on my body

Hey.

What gives value to travel is fear...

I have three friends in their forties who strike me by their overall restlessness and need for travel. I recently came across this quote and thought of them.

“What gives value to travel is fear. It is the fact that, at a certain moment, when we are so far from our own country (a French newspaper acquires incalculable value. And those evenings when, in cafes, you try to get close to other men just to touch them with your elbow), we are seized by a vague fear, and an instinctive desire to go back to the protection of old habits. This is the most obvious benefit of travel. At that moment we are feverish but also porous, so that the slightest touch makes us quiver to the depths of our being. We come across a cascade of light, and there is eternity. This is why we should not say that we travel for pleasure. There is no pleasure in traveling, and I look upon it more as an occasion for spiritual testing. If we understand by culture the exercise of our most intimate sense – that of eternity – then we travel for culture. Pleasure takes us away from ourselves in the same way as distraction, in Pascal’s use of the word, takes us away from God. Travel, which is like a greater and a graver science, brings us back to ourselves.”

Albert Camus, Notebooks 1935-1951

Mugged by a Conceptual Artist

The CBC recently reported upon a French conceptual artist, Sophie Calle who currently has an exhibit in Montreal. (1) When I first read about her work, my first thought was "yikes", then, "hmmmmm."

Ms. Calle, you see, has found a way to not only turn her own personal relationships into art, she has also done this to others who did not agree to the undertaking.

An example of the former, is her current exhibit Take Care of Yourself (Prenez soin de vous), which is the last line in a break-up e-mail from a boyfriend. Ms. Calle then sent the letter to 107 women and asked them to assess it according to their different types of expertise (by proof-readers, etiquette specialists, archivists, rabbis, actresses who act it out, singers who sing it etc). A copy of the letter is available to guests at the gallery for their involvement too.

Examples of the latter include: (i) Hotel Suite where she got a job as a chamber maid so she could go through guests' luggage and document the contents; and (ii) Address Book, where after finding an address book in the street, she photocopied it before returning it to the owner. She then interviewed the addressees and published this in 28 daily installments in a french newspaper. The owner of the book was a Pierre Baudry, who was coincidentally a french documentary film maker who was outraged by the experience. He retaliated by insisting that the newspaper publish a nude photo of Calle, which they did (but cropped off the head); and (iii) Suite Venitienne, followed a man she met at a party in Paris to Venice, where she disguised herself and followed him around the city, photographing him and then publishes the photos with text.(2)

She has other works which are not invasive, such as asking blind people about their thoughts about beauty.

CBC's critic says that Calle achieves perspective and closure through other people and also some kind of redemption.

She has other works that fall in between these and mingle fact and fiction which also make you think. For more information, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sophie_Calle

Artists must be sacrificed to their art. Like bees, they must put their lives into the sting they give.
Ralph Waldo Emerson


(1) http://www.cbc.ca/arts/artdesign/story/2008/09/23/f-sophie-calle-montreal.html
(2) Bois, Yve-Alain, "Character Study: Sophie Calle." Artforum, April, 2000, pp. 126–31.

Marriage under Western Skies

On doing some research on Sam Peckinpah's western films, I was reminded of some curious thoughts he expressed on marriage in his film "Ride the High Country" (1962) (1)

Peckinpah challenges his viewers to look beneath the surface in this movies most startling scene, a mining-town wedding of grotesque character.

The bride, played by Mariette Hartley has run-off with her betrothed, but has no idea that his four brothers mean to share her on the wedding night. The town's brothel serves as her wedding chapel, the heavily made-up madam as her bridesmaid, and four fatigued whores as flower girls.

Presiding over the ceremony is a not completely sober justice of the peace (Edgar Buchanan)in a soiled suit, who has to be helped to his feet to perform his duties.

The justice of the peace then exceeds everyone's expectations. He first says:

"Marriage is to entered into soberly."

Then: "A good marriage has a simple glory about it. It is like a rare animal: It's hard to find and almost impossible to keep."

Then, instead of offering encouragement, the Justice gives them this warning:

"People change, and that's important for you to know at the beginning - people change. The glory of a good marriage don't come at the beginning, it comes later on. And it's hard work."

Sam Peckinpah wrote this scene as well as directed it. He also had the unusual experience of being married five times, three to the same woman. If this is wisdom that he wanted to pass along, I'm willing to accept it...



(1) Ideas in this blog were identified in the New York Observer, January 29, 2006.